Thursday, May 9, 2019

An AI Answers Jeff's 20 Questions

It came to my attention via Talysman over at The Nine and Thirty Kingdoms that there is a neural network web toy that will complete the text of a prompt a user types in. I immediately saw this as a kind of random table, and I love me a good random table. So, I decided to use it to make a random campaign setting by having it answer Jeff Rient's 20 Quick Questions for Your Campaign Setting.

What follows I have edited to make more intelligible and concise, but every word was generated by the AI and not me.

What is the deal with my cleric's religion?

I am a Catholic and my faith has been strengthened by the life of the Church (I am one of the few who has not been a bishop, but have also been active in Catholic charity work). I now work as much as I can as a public advocate for the cause of justice.

Where can we go to buy standard equipment?

There are five main ways to buy your equipment – from your nearest chemist, from your nearest chemist's office, from your nearest pharmacy, or at your nearest specialist shop. Some pharmacies have a chemist service and can be a good first step in buying your first tools.

Where can we go to get platemail custom fitted for this monster I just befriended?

That depends on your guild. There will be a vendor standing near the entrance to the dungeon that sells the equipment.

Who is the mightiest wizard in the land?

Dafnaught, Lord of Storms.

Who is the greatest warrior in the land?

Shura: I'm a warrior. No, I'm not a hero, I'm a warrior!!

Who is the richest person in the land?

Henry Clay has a net worth of $400 billion.

Where can we go to get some magical healing?

Let us tell you about it! We will be visiting your local Healing Centre on Saturday at 9 am (local time) to receive your prayers. We plan to talk about how spiritual healing works, how to prepare for it, and provide all you need to get started!

-The Bawthorn (B. Strange)

Where can we go to get cures for the following conditions: poison, disease, curse, level drain, lycanthropy, polymorph, alignment change, death, undeath?

The only place to get cure spells is in scrolls. If you need something, you can just pick up a scroll at the nearest booklifter and pray.

Is there a magic guild my MU belongs to or that I can join in order to get more spells?

You can only join a guild if it is registered. If you do not wish to continue with your current guild, you'll have to contact your guildmaster. Guilds often have a monthly membership fee. You'll need to pay for this once a month, and then pay again over time. (Note: Your current membership fee may be different than the fee you will be charged for joining a guild.)

Where can I find an alchemist, sage or other expert NPC?

There are algos who carry large inventories, but they're not your typical Alchemists or crafters.

Where can I hire mercenaries?

Your guild has a wide range of mercenaries to hire along with a large number of skilled warriors, fighters and archers.

Is there any place on the map where swords are illegal, magic is outlawed or any other notable hassles from Johnny Law?

Yes, sword and magic are banned in all of the places on the map.

What monsters are terrorizing the countryside sufficiently that if I kill them I will become famous?

As of now, there are probably more than four monsters. It has been about three months since the start of the attack.

Are there any wars brewing I could go fight?

Not until the Empire is destroyed.

How about gladiatorial arenas complete with hard-won glory and fabulous cash prizes?

If the president wants to put up an entertainment center for his kids, surely he should go for it.

Are there any secret societies with sinister agendas I could join and/or fight?

Scienca is a society dedicated to spreading the word about science and technology, and helping to create peace between races.

The Society of the Serpent has never publicly expressed its desire to invade other worlds.

What is there to eat around here?

Oh, just chicken wing salad.

Any legendary lost treasures I could be looking for?

One of the world's most famous antiquities, the priceless Necrotic Orb, contains the remains of an ancient lich.

Where is the nearest dragon or other monster with Type H treasure?

The nearest dragon is the Red Dragonborn in Whiterun. The dragons are coming to Darkshire. The Dragons are coming here. And they are coming for The Dark Lord.


Peter D said...

This is one of the funniest posts I've ever read.

Slick S. said...

"Are there any wars brewing I could go fight?
'Not until the Empire is destroyed.'"

That's genuinely kind of a cool, evocative answer. Along with the 4 (or "probably more than" 4) monsters currently sustaining an assault/siege on the realm, this inspires a lot of ideas about the world it implies.

That said, a place where weapons and magic are banned absolutely everywhere and the only thing to eat is chicken wing salad is hilarious.

Peter D said...

Don't forget that on top of all of that, the dragons are coming . . . for the Dark Lord.

JB said...

This is pretty amusing.

Talysman said...

The complete ban on swords and magic (but not axes, spears, or bows?) and the absence of food other than chicken wing salad is pretty hilarious, but I also like the sinister agenda of Scienca: spread the word about science and technology, create peace between nations. Nefarious!