Gamer ADD: WH40K Campaign

Grrr… this is what happens when I don't get to play as regularly as I want.

So, despite the fact that life continues to happen (severely limiting the time I have to dedicate this sort of thing) two comments from my last couple of posts have fired my imagination in a way that is extremely difficult for me to ignore (Gamer ADD — an affliction even the best of us suffer from).

Anthony said of this post:

This sounds like a lot of fun, giving space for all sorts of adventures and, if the chests were lost years ago, historical detective work. In fact, this campaign would also work with "modern" games, such as Call of Cthulhu. I'd be very tempted to add "competitors," say after the 2nd or 3rd chest was recovered, to give the party a sense that Bad Things would happen, if the relics were to fall into the wrong hands.

TheMetal1 said of this post:

And...so...What are you waiting for?!! Get this campaign rolling and run it online through Google+ or on a Virtual Table Top like FGII!

Anthony made me realize that the campaign idea I had laid out with lost relics could very easily be applied to the WH40K campaign that TheMetal1 has so enthusiastically demanded that I do. Unfortunately, my gaming budget does not have any room for a $30 .pdf of a rule system I am not even sure I would want to play; however, Sine Nomine’s Stars Without Number has a free edition. Since it is based on a system I am very familiar with (old school D&D) it means that not only will it be easy for me to run such a game, but it is flexible enough to easily accommodate the various peculiarities of the 40K universe.

I occasionally can’t sleep and over the weekend I spent some time perusing the Warhammer 40000 wiki and found myself a planet that could serve very well as a basis for a campaign: Black Reach. There are several reasons why I find this local to be ideal (many of which fall into the category of classic D&D campaign tropes):

• The system lies in the Ultima Segmentum, which is on the imperial frontier.
• A bunch of races can be found in the Ultima Segmentum (both friendly and antagonistic). Eldar, Tau, Tyranids, Orcs and Chaos are explicitly named, and there is plenty of room to include Abhumans, Dark Eldar, Necrons and Squats as well as all sorts of unexplained xenoforms.
• Black Reach is a Hive World — it has giant multi-level cities capable of supporting a population in the billions. It also means that it is the equivalent of a giant megadungeon.
• Black Reach was also recently decimated by a recent invasion of orcs — the entire northern hemisphere was left in ruin.
• Despite the fact that the Ultramarines beat back the invading orc horde, (given a little change in tense) there are still pockets of orcs that need to be eliminated by the local population (i.e. adventuring parties).
• There is a precedent for Space Marine chapters to have relics. The Ultramarines, in particular, have quite a few.
• The thing that I like best about Black Reach, however, is that all the information I can find about it is this paragraph:

Black Reach is the Imperial Hive World in the Ultima Segmentum fought over by the Ultramarines 2nd Company under Captain Cato Sicarius and the Goff Clan Orks under the Warlord Zanzag following the invasion of Black Reach in 855.M41 by WAAAGH! Zanzag. As an Imperial Hive World, Black Reach's massive hive cities are home to billions of Imperial citizens. Much of the planet's population was slain during WAAAGH! Zanzag, and the northern continent of the world was completely ruined by the intensity of the fighting. After the defeat of Zanzag by the Imperial forces, Black Reach's inhabitants still had to take back the rest of their world from the pockets of surviving Greenskins.

Other than this, there is no canon that I have to worry about. It doesn’t even appear on any of the maps I have found of the WH40K universe. Given that there are a million planets within Imperial space, that means I have the freedom to create the entire sector of space in which Black Reach is found.

The initial adventure will hold out a carrot to the party — a Letter of Marque, which gives them the freedom and authority to go anywhere within the Black Reach Sector. This will give them a bunch of planets to explore, and provide a reasonable limit on their activities to make life easier for me.

In addition, since Stars Without Number is based on older editions of D&D, I can easily import various classes from D&D and its clones. I expect to have the following:

• Dwarves as a stand-in for Squats.
• Halflings as a stand-in for Ratlings.
• A modified version of Elf (combining Psychic and Warrior) as a stand-in for Eldar.
• The Replicant class as detailed in Section 9 of Mutant Future as a stand-in for Abhumans (like Beastmen and Ogryns).
• The Cleric class to represent the prophets of the 41st century Christians, whose turning ability will work against both Chaos and the Necrons.

Saintly Saturday: St Bartholomew

Today is the commemoration of the Return of the Relics of the Apostle Bartholomew. Originally, the relics of the apostle were in the region of Armenian Albanus (modern day Baku in Azerbaijan). Starting in the reign of the emperor Anastasius (A.D. 491-518), however, his relics were transferred to the newly constructed city of Anastasiopolis (modern day Dura in southeast Turkey). They remained there until the end of the sixth century when Persians under the emperor Chozroes conquered the city.

Christians fled with the relics of St. Bartholomew and several other saints (the martyrs Papian, Lucian, Gregory and Acacius), all collected in various chests. Persian priests, however, overtook them as they were traveling on the coast of the Black Sea. The chests were thrown into the water; however, instead of sinking (as they should have — reliquary chests are normally covered in precious metal) they floated out of reach of the Persian priests.

On this date, the chest containing the relics of St. Bartholomew arrived at the island of Lipari off the coast of southern Italy. The other chests would safely arrive in other places around the Italian peninsula (Sicily, Messina, Calabria and Askalon).

This has an adventure, a series of adventures or even an entire campaign written all over it. The relics of several saints have been lost (to invaders? to a cult? to a political faction?). A powerful patron wants them recovered. Depending upon who the stole them, the relics could be in a series of dungeons or other challenging locations. The party would have to follow clues in order to track them all down. In the meantime, other powers could also be interested in getting their hands on the same relics — making the whole exercise a race to see who gets there first. It could even be done in conjunction with this campaign idea.

Too bad my plate is really full at the moment…

Meditating on Warhammer 40K

Conrad Klinch of Joy and Forgetfulness asked the following question of me:

One of the most popular wargames, Warhammer 40K, makes heavy use of Christian imagery, but warps it rather spectacularly. Do you have any thoughts on that?

Let me preface my answer with a bit of personal background. I had largely stopped playing RPGs in the late 80s and thus most of my gaming budget (both temporal and monetary) was spent playing miniature wargames. In the early 90s I did play quite a lot within the 40K universe (particularly the 2nd Edition of the Spacemarine Epic ruleset). So, I have more than a passing familiarity with the universe; however, I stopped paying attention to GW products around fifteen years ago because I got sick and tired of the constant rule changes, the ever more expensive rule sets and the pricing of figures based on game ability rather than the amount of metal. Thus, if there has been any major changes in the mythology of the universe since then, I am unaware.

Secondarily, I would also say this about symbology: there is very little in Christianity that doesn’t originate in other cultures. One of the central feasts of the Orthodox Church in summer is the Transfiguration — when Jesus shows his divinity to Peter, James and John on Mt. Tabor. The important part of this event is that this happened through Christ’s humanity. This demonstrates that created matter (our humanity in this case) can be transformed through divine grace. One of the primary purposes of the Orthodox Church is facilitating this transformation, not just in ourselves but the very culture that surrounds us. Thus, pagan symbols and celebrations have been “baptized” and transformed into Christian symbols and holidays.

A classic example is the Cross. In pagan Roman culture, it was a symbol of Roman power and the violent and awful death that awaited anyone who dared defy that power. Through Christ, this symbol has been transformed from an instrument of torture and oppression into a symbol of resurrection, salvation and eternal life.

Thus, one is likely to find Christian symbols within other contexts and cultures used in radically different ways. So, that the 40K universe has symbology similar to Christianity, but has a cosmology that is radically different is no real surprise. For my part, I would view it as my role to transform this symbology and the culture around it into its proper form — Christianity.

Thematically, the 40K universe is not much different than any number of human empires that had at their core a cult of personality. The Roman Empire, for example, had an emperor cult in much the same way that 40K does. Indeed, this cult of personality is a reason that there are fascistic and socialist overtones in the way the 40K universe is depicted.

If I were ever to play within the 40K universe again, it would likely be via Rogue Trader, which would allow me to introduce players to the underground Christian Church which has survived (through the grace of the Holy Spirit) alive and well into the 41st millenium. I would couple this with the revelation that the Emperor is one of the primary sources of Chaos in the universe (it helps consolidate his power by giving him an excuse to “protect” so many worlds with his iron fist and constant sweeps of his Inquisitors). Thus, players would be afforded an opportunity to take the symbols of the 40K universe and transform them — give them meaning by restoring them to their proper orientation towards God.

Holmes & Cook: The Assassin

Today I am going to hop into my Way Back Machine and end up in 1985 when I waisted more hours than I’d like to count playing The Bard’s Tale on my Commodore 64. While I am tempted to wax poetic about how much better it was than Wizardry (which also ate up a bunch of my time), how it owes a tremendous debt to D&D or how it emphasized exploration over story, these are not my primary reasons for reminiscing about one of my favorite computer games of my youth.

Rather, I bring it up as a starting point for what a Holmesian assassin might look like — one of the subclasses that Holmes hinted would be part of AD&D:

There are a number of other character types which are detailed in ADVANCED DUNGEONS & DRAGONS. There are sub-classes of the four basic classes. They are: paladins and rangers (fighting men), illusionists and witches (magic-users), monks and druids (clerics), and assassins (thieves).

The Bard’s Tale, being (in essence) a D&D clone for the computer included several character classes which strongly resembled their D&D progenitors. Among these was the Hunter, which was described thusly:

An assassin, a mercenary, a ninja. The hunter can use most weapons, and has the ability (which grows with experience) to do critical hits in combat (i.e., to attack a nerve center or other vital area and instantly kill an opponent). A good skill.

Given that there really isn’t any kind of implied definition of what an assassin might be in either Holmes or Cook, it seems to me that this is as good a definition as any (especially since this thought experiment is about what my version of D&D might have looked like and The Bard’s Tale was definitely part of my gaming experience). The question then is what mechanic to use for the assassin’s critical hit ability.

Two suggest themselves from the rules of Holmes & Cook:

• Some kind of percentile chance as per Thief skills. 
• Most (if not all) of the monsters who have the ability to instantly kill a character allow for a saving throw to avoid death.

Whereas I think being able to instantly kill a dragon would be cool, it is only cool if it doesn’t happen frequently. Thus, I believe a combination of the two mechanics could be used. It would work as follows:

• The base percentage for a critical hit would be based on the die roll of the assassin who hits her opponent. The number would be the difference between the roll and what was needed to hit. For example: if an assassin needed a ’15’ to hit an opponent, and rolled a ’20’ the base number for a critical hit would be 5%. 
• This base number would then be modified based upon the level of the assassin. The average increase of Thief skills per level in Holmes & Cook is about 4%. Thus, for every level above 1st, the assassin adjusts the base chance of a critical hit by an additional 4%. 
• Finally, if an assassin is successful at making a critical hit, the creature hit may make a saving throw vs. death to avoid instant death. A successful save means that normal damage is taken from the hit.

For example: an 8th level assassin (THAC0 17) successfully hits a red dragon (AC 2, HD 9) with a ’19’. She needed a ’15,’ so the base percentage for a critical hit is 4%. This is increased to 32% ([4 x 7] + 4) due to her level. Should she succeed in landing a critical hit, the red dragon would then need to roll a ‘6’ or higher on their save vs. death in order to avoid being instantly killed. I’m no math wizard, but I think that comes out to be about an 8% chance of the assassin instantly killing the dragon. Overall, an 8th level assassin has about a 2% chance per attack to instantly kill a red dragon. That feels about right.

Another example: a 5th level assassin (THAC0 17) rolls the same against an Ogre (AC 6, HD 4+1). Needing an ’11’ to hit, the base chance of a critical hit is 8% and 24% with level bonuses ([4 x 4] + 8). The ogre would need a ’10’ to save vs. death. In this case that is about a 12% shot at an instant kill. Overall, a 5th level assassin has about a 5% chance per hit to instantly kill an ogre. Again, that feels about right.


The assassin would loose all Thief skills save for Hide in Shadows and Move Silently but be able to use any weapon. Otherwise the assassin would function in every other way as a Thief.

Holmes & Cook: The Monk

I have been contemplating the Holmsian suggestion that the monk is a subclass of cleric. Given that the early iterations of the cleric class were psuedo-Christian, this strongly suggests that when Holmes mentions the monk, he is thinking of the western (Christian) monastic tradition rather than the Eastern (Asian) monastic tradition which eventually formed the basis of the D&D monk class.

The question then becomes what mechanics present in Holmes & Cook can be used to present a class that is similar to the cleric, but sufficiently different as to be a subclass while having at least a passing resemblance to the Christian monastic tradition. It is here that I have to give credit to Talysman and his work on what he calls the Cleric-without-spells. He divorces the class from Vancian magic by embracing the one mechanic that truly belongs to the cleric — Turning. It is from here that I will begin.

If one actually spends time at a monastery or reading the services that monks do on a daily basis, it becomes obvious that the primary vocation is not only prayer, but prayer for other people. This suggests that a Holmesian monk class should buff other characters through the Turning mechanic.

Thus, a monk would have a floating bonus that she can attempt to attach to any number of characters (for playability, this would include the monk herself). This bonus depends upon the monk's level:

• 1st-3rd = +1
• 4th-6th = +2
• 7th-9th = +3
• 10th+ = +4

The number of characters that the monk can attempt to affect and the chance of success is based upon the Turn Undead Table, where the Skeleton category of undead is one character and each progressive category increases that number by one. For example, a 1st level monk can affect one character on a 7 or more, two on a 9 or more, or three on an 11 or more. This bonus then lasts for 2d6 rounds. A ‘T’ indicates an automatic success and a ‘D’ indicates that the bonus will last for the maximum 12 rounds.

Here is a tentative list for the bonus categories a monk can choose:

• To Hit Melee
• To Hit Ranged
• Damage
• Armor Class
• Saving Throw
• Initiative

Any one category may only be attempted once per combat.

In addition, the monk can perform minor healing. Once per combat per character, the monk can heal their bonus in hit points. For example, a 7th level monk can heal a character for 3hp.

With the exception of spell casting, the monk functions as a cleric.

Saintly Saturday: St. John of Rila

Today is the Feast of St. John of Rila. He is a 9th-10th century monastic of Bulgaria and considered to be the country’s great spiritual ascetic and protector. His life follows a pattern found in many ascetic saints.

Born in a village in the region of what is now Sofia, he was orphaned as a boy. He became a cowherd in hire of a cruel man. It was here that he learned to pray. After being beaten for losing a cow and her calf, he called to God for help. He found the two separated by a raging river. After placing his tattered shirt on the water, he was able to walk on the water in order to save the calf. His master saw this miracle and rewarded John, but being afraid sent him away.

St. John then wandered the wilderness. At first, he lived in a hut, but was driven away by robbers. Later, he lived in a deep cave. He became known for miracle working.

Finally, the monastic feats of St. John began to spread far and wide and he began to attract followers. They built a monastery where St. John was abbot until he died in A.D. 946.

In other words, there is a period where the monastic has some form of patronage — whether as a slave, servant or pupil. Then the monk wanders the wilderness. Finally, followers come and a monastery is built.

Note that this pattern is very similar to the three stages of a D&D character. Lower levels stick close to a home base as they dungeon delve. At mid-levels they explore the wilderness. At high levels, a piece of wilderness is cleared to make way for a stronghold and the attraction of followers. This is also a pattern implied by an understanding of Law vs. Chaos being (Christian) Civilization vs. (Demonic) Wilderness.

I have argued before that adventuring parties can be seen as metaphors for this very monastic pattern; however, there is no real character class that is representative of the Christian monastic tradition. Clerics come the closest, but these are much more akin to what modern gamers see as the holy warrior/paladin than a contemplative monk.

As I mentioned in my last post, there was a moment in the history of the game where such a class was at least being contemplated. I believe that such a class would work in a world where sin is personified by monsters. The issue is figuring out how to differentiate it from a cleric while still making it interesting to play.

Holmes & Cook: The Alchemist Class

I have been contemplating these famous words from the Holmes Basic Edition:

There are a number of other character types which are detailed in ADVANCED DUNGEONS & DRAGONS. There are sub-classes of the four basic classes. They are: paladins and rangers (fighting men), illusionists and witches (magic-users), monks and druids (clerics), and assassins (thieves).

In context of my long dormant thought experiment of using the Holmes Basic Edition with the Cook Expert Edition by defaulting to Holmes whenever possible, this preview of what was to come with AD&D is enticing, especially since history has since demonstrated that monks are not clerics and witches were never an official D&D class.

I have already produced versions of both the ranger and the paladin by taking advantage of the quirks found in the way combat functions in the Holes Edition. Since both of these are fighting men, I feel obligated to at least attempt to produce something for the other classes.

It seems to me that the easiest to tackle is the witch (though I will be altering that name because of the various negative connotations associated with it — especially since the rules seem to suggest a Christian culture in which a witch would hardly be welcome). I come to this conclusion based on the fact that illusionists, monks, druids and assassins are not easily inferred by the rules as they stand.

There aren’t many spells in Holmes & Cook that are illusory in nature — what exactly would an illusionist do, then? I have already voiced my own distaste for druids as PCs, but even so, there are very few elemental and nature related spells found in Holmes & Cook. Assuming that a druid would tend more toward spell casting than the basic cleric, it follows that the monk would be more combat oriented; however, what exactly does that mean — especially since the Western monastic tradition is mostly non-violent?

If one looks at literature and popular culture, however, the witch does suggest something hinted at in Holmes. Witches normally cast their spells via concoctions made in a caldron from various weird ingredients — a witches brew. Since low-level magic-users can make scrolls, Holmes suggests there are such things as potion spells and Cook has an alchemist as a specialist henchman, it follows that the witch class can be re-skinned as an alchemist.

Rather than casting memorized spells, the alchemist prepares various potions that have spell-effects. The advantage is that an alchemist can “cast” more spells on a given day because they can carry multiple potions. In addition (as a curious by-product of not having to cast spells while on an adventure), the alchemist can wear armor. The disadvantage is that only spells that can affect someone imbibing a potion are available — sorry, no Magic Missiles or Fireballs. Thus, the alchemist specializes in utility spells — something I’ve always been a big fan of.

The number of magic formula known by the alchemist is the same as the number of spells that a magic user can memorize per day. This number can be effected by Intelligence:

• 13-15 = +1 first level
• 16-17 = +1 first level, +1 second level
• 18 = +1 first level, +1 second level, +1 third level

Thus, a first level alchemist with a 14 Intelligence would know how to make two different kinds of potions.

There is no limit as to how many potions an alchemist can carry, beyond what a Referee might determine via encumbrance; however, this number can be controlled in two ways:

• Cost — just as magic users must pay 100gp per spell level to create a scroll, so will alchemists have to spend money on ingredients to make potions. My initial thinking is 25gp per level.
• Safety — as an alchemist advances in level, they learn how to make their potions more durable and stable. An alchemist may safely carry a number of potions equal to her BMR x her level. If the alchemist is carrying more than this, any time the alchemist gets hit, a number of potions equal to the damage taken are lost (until the safety limit is reached). In addition, the alchemist must make a save vs. spells or take an additional 1 hp per potion destroyed due to a catastrophic failure of the potions. For example: A 2nd level alchemist wearing chain mail with a heavy load (BMR of 2) could safely carry 4 potions. If she were carrying 8 potions and got hit for 5 points of damage, 4 potions would be destroyed (since she has a safety threshold of 4 potions) and she would have to save vs. spells or take an additional 4 hp of damage.

Here is a tentative spell (potion) list:

1st Level

1. Detect Magic
2. Protection from Evil
3. Read Languages
4. Read Magic
5. Shield
6. Ventriloquism

2nd Level

1. Detect Evil
2. Detect Invisible
3. Invisibility
4. Levitate
5. Locate Object
6. Mirror Image

3rd Level

1. Clairvoyance
2. Fly
3. Haste
4. Infravision
5. Protection from Normal Missiles
6. Water Breathing

4th Level

1. Confusion
2. Invisibility 10’r.
3. Polymorph Self
4. Protection from Evil 10’r.
5. Remove Curse
6. Plant Growth

5th Level

1. Animate Dead
2. Anti-Magic Shield
3. Contact Higher Plane
4. Projected Image
5. Telekinesis
6. Teleport

Otherwise, the alchemist functions as a magic user.

Saintly Saturday: The Miracle of St. Spyridon at Corfu

Today is the commemoration of a miracle performed by St. Spyridon at Corfu in 1716. St. Spyirdon is a 4th century saint from the island of Cyprus. He is normally depicted wearing what looks like a basket on his head. In fact, this is the traditional head gear of shepherds on the island during his lifetime. Originally a peasant shepherd, he was eventually elected as bishop of Trimythous in Cyprus. He attended the First Ecumenical Council and despite his lack of formal education was one of the most eloquent defenders of orthodoxy against Arianism.

His relics were originally transferred to Constantinople when Saracens conquered Cyrpus (beginning in the 7th century). His body was discovered to be incorrupt. When Constantinople fell, they were taken to the island of Corfu (one of the Greek islands in the Ionian Sea) and are still there today.

In 1716, the island of Corfu was under Venetian rule, but was being threatened by the Turks, who managed to gain a beach head and laid siege to the city. St. Spyridon was seen by Turkish soldiers walking through their camp at night holding a torch. This vision sent the Turkish forces into a panic and the siege was lifted after only 22 days. To this day, St. Spyridon is referred to as the Keeper of the City in Corfu.

While it might be tempting to dismiss this story as fancy, St. Spyridon is known as a “walking saint.” Every year the shoes that he wears must be replaced, because they get worn out — exactly as a pair of shoes would if someone were walking in them. It is taken as a sign that Spyridon regularly goes for walks about the island — wearing out his shoes.

As an aside, the island of Cyprus would be an awesome basis for a campaign. Due to its strategic placement in the Mediterranean, it has been conquered by a wide variety of cultures:

• Mycanaean Greeks
• Phoenicians
• Assyrians
• Egyptians
• Persians
• Alexandrian Greeks
• Ptolemaic Egyptians
• Romans
• Byzantines
• Saracens
• Crusaders (Richard III of England)
• Knights Templar
• Holy Roman Empire
• Venice
• Ottomans
• British
• Turks

Thus, there are plenty of ruins from all kinds of cultures to explore. To boot, there are archeological finds in Cyprus that indicate some interesting fauna, including dwarf elephants and dwarf hippos.

***

The Shepherd’s Shoes

These humble looking footwear appear as old shoes, worn and full of holes; however, they do have a dweomer of magic about them. The effects of the shoes are based upon the alignment of the wearer. To all who wear them, they fit perfectly and are perfectly comfortable footwear despite their appearance. If the wearer is Lawful, the shoes provide protection from inclement weather, produce no tracks and reduce the need for rations by half. If the wearer is Chaotic, the shoes cannot be removed without a Remove Curse spell. During inclement weather, the wearer must Save vs. Poison or contract a disease. Regardless of the terrain, the wearer will leave obvious tracks that cannot be hidden and will remain for 1d6+1 days. In addition, ration consumption is doubled.

Saintly Saturday: The Seven Youths of Ephesus

Today is the feast of the Seven Youths of Ephesus. Maximilian, Iamblicus, Martinian, John, Dionysius, Exacustondianus and Antonius all lived during the third century. All of them were from illustrious families in the city of Ephesus (on the western coast of modern day Turkey), served in the military, were friends and were faithful Christians.

Upon the arrival of the emperor Decius, every citizen was required to sacrifice to the pagan gods. This, of course, led to the Seven answering to the emperor himself for their refusal to make the required sacrifices. After confessing their faith in Christ, however, Decius was moved to spare them — at least while he was away on a military campaign. The youths were stripped of their military ranks and set free.

They fled to a cave outside the city, where they prepared for their eventual martyrdom. When the Emperor found out, he had the cave sealed shut. Faithful Christians placed a plaque on the stone to commemorate the event.

Almost two centuries later, there was a heresy in the city of Ephesus that called into question the general resurrection at the second coming of Christ. The owner of the land on which the cave was situated found the plaque and had the cave uncovered. Rather than dying of dehydration and starvation, the Seven Youths had been preserved in sleep — nothing about or on them had either aged or decayed. Their presence, story and witness demonstrated that the heretics’ imaginations were nothing compared to the power of God.

There is not anything especially new about finding one or more persons from another age either in the wilderness or in a dungeon. Indeed, there are enough denizens within various old school D&D modules that it could almost be called a trope. What I find intriguing about the Seven Youths is the source and purpose of their torpor.

In D&D, when one encounters a person from another age, the source of their great age is usually some variation on the arcane. Liches are magic users that have figured out a way to become undead. Vampires are a variation on the same theme (though they may be victims rather than willing participants). Sleepers might be found in an arcanely produced cryogenic pod. If one expands the arcane to include science and science fiction cyborgs, and robots with human memories can be included in this group of beings that try to cheat death.

Often, these creatures hold a key to understanding the history of the dungeon/place where they are found. They have information which fills in the backstory of why the immediate surroundings are the way they are. They are a fantasy version of an interactive encyclopedia that might want to suck out your brains after getting the information you need.

The Seven Youths, however, are preserved not by the arcane experiments of someone afraid of death, but rather by God Himself. Indeed, the youths were in process of preparing for death. What I find most intriguing, however, is the information they possess. They were not meant to inform those of the present about the past, but rather about issues of the present day (and by implication the future).

This, of course, is a much greater challenge to a Referee/GM/DM than your average lich, which is why I find it so alluring. Saints, of course are always a plausible vehicle for such a find; however, the time traveller who miscalculates her arrival time in order to save the present or future also comes to mind...

Saintly Saturday: St. Irene the Righteous of Chrysovalantou

Let me begin today’s post with a personal story. Several years ago, I visited Thessaloniki. When I first arrived, I was stunned by how ugly the city is. Block concrete buildings dominate every street corner and every skyline. Graffiti is everywhere and any attempt to clean it only results in new graffiti.

Part of the shock was due to the fact that the city is littered with byzantine churches, relics and scriptural provenance. It was with a great sense of irony that one not only could not see most of the churches from a distance (they were surrounded by these towering blocks of concrete), but one had to descend beneath street level in order to enter.

All of this ugliness and seeming disregard for the holiness that is literally at ones finger tips in every section of the city angered me. I was due to stay for a number of weeks and was in no mood to have to witness this physical edifice that seemed to prefer the straight, grey concrete lines of 20th century secularism over the complex beauty of ancient Christianity.

Part of my own journey to Christianity, however, was a retreat from the self-destructive anger of a cynical youth. Anger requires so much energy and so much time — neither of which I have any desire to spend wasting on things over which I have no control. Therefore, I spent most of my time in Thessaloniki searching for beauty. I found it by ignoring the skyline and focusing on the intimate and the small.

One of the things that helped with this revelation was a small icon of stunning beauty I found in the street market:

At the time I had no idea who this women was, why the tree was bent over or why she held three apples, but I was bound and determined to find out. Her name is Irene the Righteous of Chrysovalantou and today is her feast.

Irene lived during the ninth century and was originally from Cappadocia. She was chosen to be betrothed to the Emperor Michael (whose mother St. Theodora ended the period of Iconoclasm by restoring the icons to the churches). On her journey to Constantinople, however, she was told by St. Ioannicius that she was needed at the monastery of Chrysovalantou.

She therefore proceeded to meet the Emperor with great trepidation, knowing she would have to reject the betrothal; however, (with great relief) she found that Michael was already married when she arrived. Therefore, she spent the rest of her life as a monastic at Chrysovalantou where she eventually became abbess.

The bent tree comes from an account of one of the nuns from the monastery. St. Irene had the practice of keeping an all-night vigil in the courtyard throughout the night of the Great Feasts of the Church. The nun, unable to sleep, witnessed St. Irene floating in air with the cypress trees in the courtyard bowing to her. When she was done with her prayers she blessed each tree in turn and they went back to their original position.

The apples come from an account of a sailor of Patmos (where St. John the Evangelist lived out the end of his life). As the sailor set sail, he saw an elderly man on the shore telling him to stop — which the boat did despite the wind and the current. The man then walked across the water and gave the sailor the apples with the instruction to give them to St. Irene with the message that they were a gift and came from John in Paradise. There are parishes that to this day bless apples on this feast.

***

Apples of Paradise

These rare fruits reportedly come from the trees of the Garden of Eden. They are immune to decay and will remain fresh and unbruised until they are consumed. Each fruit has 1d6+1 bites before it is consumed. Taking one or more bites from the fruit will confer to the recipient any healing spell from the Cleric Spell List. Higher level spells, however, require one bite per level of the spell. For example, a Cure Light Wounds spell requires one bite and a Neutralize Poison spell requires four bites.

Han Shot First

As I noted in my last post, I have been traveling a lot lately, mostly by car. In order to pass the time in an entertaining way (particularly for the kids) we’ve been listening to the Star Wars Radio Drama. I don’t remember when I purchased this set of good ‘ol fashioned CDs, but I haven’t listened to them for years…and had forgotten just how good they are.

Let me just say, before I go any further, that I acknowledge the fact that George Lucas has every right to fiddle as much as he wants to with his movies (since he created them, owns them, etc.). I also reserve my own right to say that much of that fiddling has curbed my enthusiasm for the franchise (I haven’t actually sat through an entire movie — even my old VHS copies of the original versions — in almost a decade).

I also reserve my right to throw my hat into the ring as a Han-Shot-First kinda guy. Personally, in context of the story, it not only makes sense, but I always thought it essential to the story arc of his character. His decision to turn around and join the Battle of Yavin at the last moment has more meaning.

The story arc is even stronger in the thirteen episode radio play (almost 6 hours) where so much of the story is driven by what the characters say (audio) vs. what they do (visual). Han is much more of a shady and untrustworthy character at the outset than he is in the movie (even before George started fiddling). Obi-wan does make few interesting observations that set the stage for both Luke and Princess Leia having conversations with Han on Yavin trying to convince him to fight.

And in that moment when Han does show up at the end to allow Luke enough time to fire off his shot to destroy the Death Star, I got just as many goose bumps as I did in the movie theatre, despite knowing how everything ends and despite not having all those fantastic visuals.

There are several things going in the Radio Drama’s favor.

• The script was written by Brian Daley (who wrote the Han Solo Adventures). His superior writing skills (when compared to George) and his familiarity with the early expanded universe made him perfect for this role.
• The Radio Drama had access to both John Williams’ music and the special sound effects of Brian Burtt.
• There are some seriously cool episode titles like "A Wind to Shake the Stars," "While Giants Mark Time," and "The Jedi Nexus."
• Star Wars was inspired by the episodic serials of early Hollywood. The Radio Drama actually allows it to be an episodic serial.
• There are a lot of interesting background stories that get filled in that are suggested by the film, but are never dealt with.
• As a result we get to see Dark Vader as the seriously evil bad guy that he was always meant to be.
• Mark Hamill (one of the two original cast members available to do the play) is a better voice actor than he is a screen actor (being my favorite Joker of all time).
• The other is Anthony Daniels. Both lend enough audial familiarity that you don’t mind not having the rest of the cast.
• George Lucas actually sold the rights to KUSC (reportedly for one dollar). He therefore cannot fiddle with this production as he has with the films.

Therefore, if (like me) you prefer Han shooting first, then take a listen. I know I will be going back to the Radio Drama a lot sooner and a lot more often than I will the movie.

Saintly Saturday: St. Symeon the Fool for Christ

First, let me apologize for not posting a whole lot lately. Life intrudes. I have been traveling a lot. My actual time gaming has been much reduced, giving me less to muse about. Fortunately, today is the feast of St. Symeon the Fool for Christ.

Symeon was part of a group of monastic saints from Edessa in Mesopotamia (now in modern day Turkey). After making a pilgrimage to Jerusalem in the middle of the sixth century, Symeon and his companions were moved to take up the ascetic life. After being tonsured, they went out into the wilderness of the Dead Sea where they remained for several years.

Moved by the Spirit, Symeon left the desert for Emesa in Syria, where he became a Fool for Christ. This is a title given to saints who endeavor to bring ridicule upon themselves by appearing to be insane; however, this state of mind is actually a kind of holiness. These fools are able to expose evil through direct criticism, metaphoric actions and symbolic words. They force people to face their own sin in a way that other, more “civilized” methods cannot.

St. Symeon, through this holy insanity was able to save many from their sins. He died in peace in the year A.D. 570.

Of all the various types of NPCs one can throw into a game, the one I enjoy playing the most is the Fool for Christ, not only because they are hilarious characters that illicit strong reactions from players, but because they are extremely useful.

A Fool for Christ is a wonderful way to personify the omniscience of the Referee into a game world. Normally such a character would take the form of an extremely powerful wizard or other highly magical NPC quite capable of completely decimating parties and player choice. A Fool for Christ, however, need only be a 0-level human. Being a holy person, intimate with the Holy Spirit gives them all the knowledge the Referee needs them to have.

Given their relative weakness, this allows me as a Referee to impart critical information (and even some constructive criticism) in an entertaining way while letting the players know and feel that they are still in charge of their characters and where they want to take the campaign.

Saintly Saturday: St. Nicodemus of the Holy Mountain

Today is the feast of St. Nicodemus of the Holy Mountain. Born Nicholas Kallivourtzis in Naxos, Greece around 1749, he went to Mt. Athos to become a monk at the Dionysiou Monastery in 1775. While he was part of a group of monks that revived hesychasm (a mystical prayer practice which uses the Jesus Prayer — “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me the sinner”), he is far more famous for his literary efforts.

In 1777, St. Makarius of Corinth gave him three texts to edit and revise. Among these was the Philokalia, a book of huge spiritual import of which I have mediated on before. St. Nicodemus would also go on to edit On Frequent Holy Communion and the Evergenitos, write hagiographies and liturgical poetry and translate several Western Christian works, especially from the Jesuit tradition.

Ironically, St. Nicodemus is far more popular in Orthodox lands outside of his native Greece — particularly in Russia where the Philokalia has had a much deeper influence. Due to “Western Influences” (his interest in Roman Catholic writings) he is still approached with some trepidation. Personally, I find this unfortunate because his contributions are manifold.

It occurs to me that there are various tables available to come up with random book titles, but most have to do with historical or arcane subject matter. Since St. Nicodemus was such a prolific writer, editor and translator, I thought it appropriate to come up with a table to produce book titles for religious works.

This table has three parts. One can use their funky new d16 (if you happen to be a DCC aficionado) or one can roll two d4s and read them as one might a pair of percentile dice. One d4 is the tens place, the other the ones place. This should nicely produce sixteen possible results.

Table 1

11 The Prayer
12 The Hagiography
13 The Vision
14 The Poetry
21 The Commentary
22 The Theology
23 The Suffering
24 The Iconography
31 The Martyrdom
32 The Confession
33 The Akathist
34 The Exorcism
41 The Absolution
42 The Vigil
43 The Canon
44 The Monastic Rule

Table 2

11 of the Hersiarch
12 of the Sinner
13 of the Fool
14 of the Hermit
21 of the Bishop
22 of the Ascetic
23 of the Virgin
24 of the Priest
31 of the Monk
32 of the King
33 of the Wonderworker
34 of the Stylite
41 of the Heretic
42 of the Penitent
43 of the Blessed
44 of the Hierarch

Table 3

11 Alypius
12 Bassian
13 Castor
14 Digna
21 Eanswith
22 Filian
23 Gaatha
24 Juvenal
31 Lioba
32 Moluag
33 Nemesius
34 Olbian
41 Persis
42 Quintus
43 Ryax
44 Sabbas

Thus, if one rolled 14, 23 and 31 the title of the book produced would be: The Poetry of the Virgin Lioba. I tried to use a bunch of names that could pass as either masculine or feminine, but it is entirely acceptable to render a name one way or the other if it seems necessary.

Meditating on the new Conan Movie

As I have mentioned before, I am not a huge fan of Hollywood. It takes a great deal for me to be interested in actually bothering to go see a movie in the theater. In fact, I tend to place my money with companies and ideas that threaten the current system in Hollywood.

I say all of this as a prelude to explain why it is that only now have I attempted to watch the newest Conan movie — a subject that was discussed in some detail leading up to and right after its release, especially by those in the OSR who are REH fans. This discussion did nothing to convince me to see the movie then and it was only until a few days ago that the movie showed up on Netflix.

Something else I must admit: my time is valuable, therefore I have no qualms about turning a movie off or putting down a book without ever finishing either if I feel as if they are wasting my time. Unfortunately, the new Conan movie falls into this category. I wanted to like it. I watched it longer than I normally would have. In the end, though, it was unwatchable dreck and I turned it off somewhere around the 45 minute mark.

It was enough, however, for me to formulate a theory as to why the new Conan movie failed on just about every level, but most especially as a Conan movie. Hollywood has a history of getting caught up in fads — similarly themed scripts that different studios pick up and produce in order to compete with each other. A recent example is the two Snow White movies that came out this summer.

The new Conan movie is a victim of this slavish adherence to The Fad. I say this because after I turned off Conan, I watched the first 30-45 mins of The Immortals (slightly higher quality dreck) and realized I was watching the same movie:

• Both start with a narrative about an ancient war in which a powerful magical item was lost/hidden.
• Both have a vile villain at the head of a huge army in which kills the parent of the hero.
• Both villains attack a monastery that guards a virgin.
• Both virgins are necessary for the grand plan of the villain to conquer the world.
• Both heroes encounter these virgins at the beginning of the movie to set up one of the central conflicts of the movie.

The reason the new Conan movie suffered so much was because Hollywood has far more faith in the current fad than it does in the brilliance of any source material it happens to exploit to push forward the most recent fad.

One of the reasons I got into RPGs in the first place and why I have consistently come back is the DIY element of the hobby. I am completely free to do what I want with a story/campaign/character and never have to be disappointed by some exec in Hollywood who could care less for the material their movie is supposedly based upon.

Saintly Saturday: St. Kyriake the Great Martyr

Today is the feast of St. Kyriake the Great Martyr. The title Great Martyr is given to those saints who had to endure many tortures prior to their death. St. Kyriake was originally accused by a pagan suitor who, out of rage for being rejected, turned the saint and her family into Emperor Diocletion. Seeing her beauty and the wealth of her parents, Diocletion attempted to convince St. Kyriake to renounce Christ. Even after a severe beating, she refused. After this, she was shipped to various places in the Empire to be tortured and tempted.

She ended up in Nicomedia (in modern day Turkey), where she was hung in the air by her hair and burned with torches. This only seemed to make her stronger in her faith. Indeed, Christ visited her in a vision and healed her wounds. Finally, her torturers gave up and scheduled her to be decapitated; however, during a prayer just prior to her execution, she gave up her soul in peace in the year A.D. 300.

The name Kyriake literally means The Lord’s Day (Sunday) and reminds me of a level of campaign detail that I usually neglect, but wish I didn’t — time and calendars. Although, in theory, such detail allows for player immersion into the game world, in practice I always find that our conception of time is so ingrained that alternate names of days and months tend to take players out of the world rather than farther into it. I always end up redefining these names and time frames back into our own. Therefore, I don’t usually bother.

However, I am reminded by St. Kyriake, St. Paraskeve (the Day of Preparation or Friday) and St. Sabbatius (the Sabbath or Saturday) that Greek does have an alternate system for naming days that isn’t too outside our own experience of time to take us out of a game world.

For the most part, the days of the week are simply numbers. For example, Monday is the Second Day (of the week). Friday (the Day of Preparation) refers to the Jewish practice of doing all the work for Saturday in preparation for not working on the Sabbath — the Seventh Day on which God rested. Sunday (the First Day) is called the Lord’s Day because it is the day of the Resurrection.

This method implies a simple way to tell time that will be easy to associate with our own experience. Months can be replaced with familiar time frames such as seasons (Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter) and days can be named by number — the Second Day of Spring, for example. Alternatively, months could be replaced by the cycles of the moon. Days could be numbered either according to the New Moon or the Full Moon (this could be particularly useful if the world has a magic system tied to the phases of the moon).

Personally, I would be tempted to combine the two. To keep it simple, each season would have three moons. Days could be named thusly: The Second Day of the First Moon of Spring. For those interested in maintaining the idea of weeks, there can be 28 days every moon. Thus, the first, eighth, fifteenth and twenty-second days are the Lord’s Day.

As a curiosity, this system would have 336 days in a year, 84 days per season, and (assuming the days are numbered from the New Moon), Pascha (Easter) would always fall on the Fifteenth Day (or Third Lord’s Day) of Spring — the first Sunday after the first full moon after the spring equinox.

Layout Experiment Continued

I have to admit that it has been really hard for be to get back into the habit of blogging. I've been spending time with the kids this summer, watching movies, playing, etc. and my actual time spent gaming has been drastically reduced. As such, I haven't had a whole lot to write about and what little time I've gamed has been spent wrestling with actually writing up my version of the Slave Pits.

Last month, I posted a rough draft of a layout that might be used to write up a module. As usually happens in this corner of the internet, some awesome piggybacking occurred, and my original idea was improved upon.

Incorporating these tweaks, I have endeavored to put together an entire spread of how I envision a module might be done using this method. The white column is obvious stuff. The light grey column is detailed stuff. The darker grey column is Referee/DM crunch.

The right hand page is entirely dedicated to the section of the map covered by the descriptions on the left hand page. All exits off the map will have a code and a page number to help direct the end user to find the appropriate page when the players move off the map. I would also include a version of the map with all the pieces and parts stitched together.

I don't know how efficient this will end up being, but it does represent what I have in mind for moving forward on this project.

Thoughts? Suggestions? Criticisms?

Saintly Saturday: Synaxis of the Twelve Apostles

Today is the Synaxis of the Twelve Holy Apostles: Peter, Andrew, James & John the sons of Zebedee, Phillip, Bartholomew, Thomas, Matthew, James the son of Alphaeus, Jude the brother of James, Simon & Matthias. As I have mentioned before, the word Synaxis means gathering. It refers to the gathering of the saints associated with a feast, and is celebrated the day after that feast. Yesterday was the Feast of Sts. Peter and Paul — the Paramount of the Apostles. Therefore, today the Orthodox Church gathers together the Twelve.

The word Apostle means The One Who is Sent. In context of Christianity, of course, one is sent to preach the Gospel; however, in context of RPGs of every genre, the PCs can be sent by a Patron to complete a specific task. These tasks, of course, can have world-affecting consequences.

The Twelve, as is well known, travelled all across the known world (and beyond) founding local churches as they went. Since ancient times, local churches would trace the linage of their bishops to the Apostle who initially founded their Church. For example, Rome goes back to Peter, Constantinople goes back to Andrew and the Malayalam-speaking Christians of south west India go back to Thomas.

In context of an RPG campaign, such a wide-spread and long-lasting effects require a long-running campaign world that persists enough for players to have multiple characters in multiple games/campaigns. To anyone who regularly reads my blog it will be no surprise that, like most gamers, I am very much susceptible to Gamer ADD. My imagination flies off in a myriad of directions at the slightest provocation. If, however, I allow Gamer ADD to preoccupy my actual gaming, I would never experience the joy of past character action affecting current PC play.

If there is one old-school product that caught my attention more than any other, it would be the original Rogues Gallery. Therein, I found all of these fascinating characters that obviously emerged from actual play. Now, I do have my own collection of favorite characters that I have played over the years. Unfortunately, they all exist in separate worlds, genres and rules. Indeed, my youth was dominated by Gamer ADD impulses and I never really got to experience the reality depicted in Rogues Gallery. That is, until now.

Through forces that I don’t completely understand, a great deal of patience and focus on my part and a willingness to forgo all of the various opportunities to pursue supposedly greener pastures, my Lost Colonies campaign persists despite sporadic play, a changing cast of players and my own inadequacies as a Referee. As a result, there are now a Rogues Gallery of characters that populate a single world and that affect our current play.

Even in death, the original group of PCs looms large and the menagerie of characters that they left in their wake makes my Lost Colonies campaign live in a way that I could never have accomplished on my own. The fun part is that it is this very Rogues Gallery that keeps me coming back over and over again. I look forward to the way new characters will not only interact with what has come before, but what they will leave in their wake. I only have a finite amount of time to dedicate to actual play, and continuing this campaign has a far greater pull than any new fancy toy that might briefly take hold of my imagination.

In other words, continued play is something I have always aspired to and have oft wondered if the rewards were as great as I imagined. I can now attest that yes, indeed they are.

Lost Colonies Session 55

This is a session that actually happened prior to my resent bouts of health issues, so you will excuse me if this is brief and lacking in a lot of detail. I had originally delayed writing about it because it was one of those highly emotional sessions that I had not yet come to terms with.

After playing a key role in the Battle of Redwraith, the players decided that ridding the area of the rogue slaad and his unit of giant frog cavalry was the highest priority of all the various things they could do next. They tracked the unit back to the Black Tower and the now wide open portal. It was at this point that they got greedy and paid for it.

Rather than focus on the task at hand, the party wanted to use spells like Detect Magic and Locate Object in order to find any thing of interest from the sea of dead bodies that now littered the landscape. The only problem was that the spell casters came prepared for battle, not detection. It was therefore decided to camp in order to get a different set of spells ready to scour the bodies for treasure.

During the night, a basilisk found its way through the portal. Two party members, including Ahkmed, failed their saving throws and were turned to stone. The creature was eventually felled, but everyone at the table realized that of the core group of characters that had been played at the table for the last several years, only Dn. Swibish remained.

It was decided that Hornet — Ahkmed’s Living Sword — would leave the group in search of a mage of great enough power to cast Stone to Flesh or otherwise find a cure for the petrified state of the two characters. In the mean time, the party buried the two six feet under, using the logic that this was the best way to preserve the two in the long term until such time that they could be cured.

This meant that two players had no characters to play, the party was in pursuit of a monster and was in the middle of nowhere with no easy access to NPCs or other simple ways to get new PCs integrated into the group. It was at this point that my players came up with their own creative solution to the problem. One rolled up an elf, the other rolled up a cleric — but they requested that the latter be an elf trained by the now retired Dn. Goram.

As you might recall, I struggled with the idea of allowing elves to be clerics when the party started various building projects in the Elflands. I was rather ambivalent about the idea — but my players so enthusiastically embraced the concept that I just couldn’t say no.

As a result, the two new characters are elves sent by Dn. Goram to find the party in order to bring them back to the Elflands on urgent business. They came by giant eagle (something Dn. Goram has access to) and we had a fun complication as well as new characters added to the party.

The session ended with several harrowing combats as the party pursued the rogue slaad into the depths underneath the Black Tower. The party found themselves slightly out of their depth, but with coordination and creative play, they managed to wriggle out of a pair of possible TPKs.

The session, therefore, began with a serious loss and ended with a very real high brought on by surviving a pair of battles that the party probably had no business getting into in the first place. I hated to loose Ahkmed, but his death only made the survival of the party at the end of the session that much sweeter. It is one of the things that I love about old-school play. The death of a character — even a high level one — can actually make a session better.

Now, only if our busy summer schedules can allow us to get together again to play, I can get back in the swing of things.

Saintly Saturday: St. Artemius of Verkola

Today marks the feast of one of the more intriguing stories that I have had the privilege of writing about on this blog — the feast of the Holy Righteous Artemius of Verkola. He was born in 1532 in the village of Dvina Verkola. As a twelve-year old child, he and his father were caught by surprise by a fast moving thunderstorm out in the fields. He fell dead as a massive thunder burst broke right over their heads. Despite being a pious, courageous and virtuous child, everyone interpreted the death as a sign of God’s judgment. Therefore, the body was left in a pine forest without burial.

Several years later, a villager witnessed a light shining over where the body lay in the forest. When people went to investigate, the body of St. Artemius was incorrupt (it had not decayed). The holy relics were taken into the Church of St. Nicholas in 1577 where they were found to be a source of healing. A monastery was later built in the village which came to be known as Verkola.

Ironically, the most tragic part of the Saint’s story didn’t happen in his life, but at the beginning of the 20th century. In 1918 the Communists chopped the incorrupt body of St. Artemius into bits and threw the remains down a well.

Although this inspires is a great back story for a megadungeon quest (a kind of anti-Eye and Hand of Vecna kinda thing) that sees a party searching for the various remains of a saint that was thrown down the well and then skattered across various parts of the dungeon, this story puts me more in a sci-fi frame of mind.

Communism did its best for two generations to wipe out the Orthodox Church. Indeed, the Synaxarion (list of saints) includes many martyrs murdered by the Bolsheviks.

The Communist regime of Russia fell in 1991. Last year, just twenty years after (and in commemoration of those twenty years), the Church of Russia put together the following:

It is a reminder to all of those science fiction writers out there that despite the discovery of life on other planets, giant leaps in scientific understanding and a whole host of other excuses used to rid their fantasy worlds of Christianity that Christ said these words:

...upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. — Matthew 16:18

If systematic eradication for two generations (something that the Church has endured on multiple occasions, by the way) failed to destroy Her, the Church is going to survive whatever science can throw at Her. Indeed, since God created outer space and everything in it (including any alien species — especially any with funny foreheads), the Church will embrace what ever it is that humanity finds out there.

Space will become the new desert. Monastics will build monasteries in the remote areas of space (and I secretly hope that they carve churches on the interior of asteroids) and conquer the new Wilderness for Civilization.

Our modern world has replaced the faerie and the monster with the alien as its stand-in for our cultural demons (see the transformation of vampire from villain to protagonist in my life-time). Thus, a science fiction campaign is just as capable of exploring the (Christian) Civilization vs. (Demonic) Wilderness theme as is the classic D&D campaign. Things get only more interesting when the alien (demon) is us.

Dropping Off the Radar

There have been several health issues that have assaulted myself and my family over the past week or so. Nothing terribly serious, but seriously uncomfortable. Blogging, therefore, has been way down on the priority list and probably will be for at least a little bit...I'll get to having fun as soon as I can.